The Chain of Misfortune
by BookLovers18
Summary: Pretty much its just like the title. A series of misfourtunes happen to Bella, Edward, Jacob, and Nessie. Rated T for some language and killing/dying. Twilight lover viewer discretion is advised.
1. Jacob is Gone

**Please do not yell at me and say, "That is horrible! Your so mean!" I said on the description that Twilight fan vewier discretion is advised. I really don't like Twilight, I'm sorry. I liked it before Stephenie Meyer went a little too far in the fourth book but I really wanted to make a spoof on it so here it is. By the way, Twilight haters hope you like it ;). Oh and reviews are life...so REVIEW!**

**DISCLAIMER: Hmm...lets see if I was Stephenie Meyer would i be bagging on my own books?**

_**Nessie's POV**_

This whole chain of misfortune started when Jacob kissed me...

"Nessie! Lets go," dad said from downstairs. Sadly, to my highly tuned ears it sounded extremly loud, and more like a scream.

I applied one quick coat of cherry, rose lip gloss and smothed down my satin, knee lenght, red dress, a gift from my aunt Alice.

I slipped on my red pumps and gracefully rushed downstairs. Well as gracefully as a 16 year old, looking, half-vampire could when she was in a rush.

Once I reached the bottom of the staircase I met my mother and father who were waiting for me. Dad looked me over but my mom was just filled to the brim with joy.

"Oh, you look wonderful!" She gushed. "Thomas is going to be blown away!"

I blushed grabbing my sequined purse from off the chair. I knew my mom hated anything dressy and peppy but I bet she truely thought that I looked good.

Dad on the other had, pursed his lips and had that kind of, "Why is my daughter such a slut?" look in his eye. "Hmm, alright, but _one _sly move and I will know."

I rolled my eyes, "Sure whatever dad..."

"It's just so sad," my mom said with hurt eyes. "Jacob does really love you..."

I groaned, "Mom! Don't even get me started on Jacob...if he had the hots for you and now he likes me, thats just gross. So what that I liked him when I was a little kid, that was like, I don't know how many years ago. Plus, he is such a creeper. He stares at me like I'm something to eat."

"Alright, alright..." she said holding up her hands in defense. "But just prepare yourself he is coming."

Just after, the doorbell rang and I gritted my teeth opening it. Suprise, suprise, there was Jacob. "Hey Ness, you want to go to La Push? Some of the guys and I are going to go surfin'." He said leaning against the doorframe.

"No, sorry I can't" I replied. "I'm going on a date, with Thomas. You know that boy from school. Oh wait, you don't know since you go to school on the rez."

He frowned, "Thomas?" Then he looked to my dad. "How come I've never heard of him. I need to meet him, I..."

"Jacob!" I interuppted. "Stop! Im 16, well 16-looking! I'm not a child anymore, you don't need to know everything about my life!"

He looked hurt but I didn't care. He always need to know everything about me, what I was doing, who I was with, I was just plain sick of it.

"Nessie..." his hand reached out to brush the hair out of my face but I slapped it away.

"Don't even _think _about it, "I growled.

"Renesme Carlie Cullen! That is enough!" Mom yelled. "Now, Jacob was nice enough to invite you to go surfing with him. The least you could do is let him drive you to the resturant."

"But..." I protested.

My mother glared at me and my father joined in.

I groaned and stormed out the doof, Jacob trailing after me.

When I saw what he was driving my eyeballs almost melted out of their sockets. "Oh. My. God. You can't be serious..."

"But I am," he hit the hood of the old, rusty pick-up.

I circled around the car to the shotgun seat, opening the creaky, brown coated door.

Once I had hopped into the car, Jacob started up the engine and let the car idle for a while just listening to the corse humm. "Well, this baby's still got it..." He laughed pulling out of my long driveway.

To my utter dissapointment, halfway along the foresty road, the old truck broke down and Jacob had to pull over. Great, just my luck.

He motioned to me to get out of the car while he went to the front of the car and popped open the hood. As soon as he had, a giant billowing cloud of smoke flew into his face. He stepped back coughing and gagging and I couldn't help but giggle into my palm.

He slamed the hood, "Oh, you think thats funny dont cha?"

I nodded, still giggling into my hand.

He rolled his eyes, grinning from ear to ear, "Alright well the car's busted. I guess we are going to have to walk. But look on the bright side, we get to spend some time together."

This time I was the one to roll my eyes.

* * *

It happened so quickly I barely had time to stop myself.

We were walking on a back trail when Jacob grabbed my wrist and spun me around so I was facing him. I tried to make him realese his grip, but one look into his eyes and I knew what was coming. He then proceded to plant a rough kiss right on my perfectly glossed lips.

Well, you know the rest.

Once he withdrew, he grinned at me devilishly, "Now, you have to say that was better then Thomas kissing you."

My face and eyes flared and I crouched into a hunting position, a growl ripping through my throat.

His eyes widened, "Nessie! NO!"

But it was too late and I lunged, straight for his head.


	2. Nessie is Recruited

**I'm still waiting for those Reviews.....oh and by the way, I didn't know whether it was Renesme or Renesmee, and I was driving myself crazy over it so you are just gonna have to settle for Renesmee....I hope thats right....**

**DISCLAIMER: You know the drill....**

**_Bella's POV_**

I giggled as Edward and I embraced one more time. All of a sudden I heard footsteps coming up our front porch and I froze, withdrawing.

"It sounds like Renesmee," I leaped off the bed and dashed downstairs, leaving a confused and half-naked Edward lying on the couch.

I wretched open the door to see Renesmee with her head down and covered in....I smelt it before I saw it....Blood.

She was holding something wrapped up in about a dozen tissues which was also coated in blood.

I immediatly ran to her, trying to fight the sweet fragrence the blood was raidiating. When Renesmee looked up I noticed she was crying and her face was streaked with grim, blood, and tears.

I gasped, "Nessie...what happened?"

* * *

By the time I got Renesmee into the living room and cleaned up, so that she didn't get attacked by half a dozen vampires, everyone had come into the living room to listen to her story.

She still gripped the somewhat circular object, wrapped in tissues as she began her tale, "H-he i-is dead..." she stammered taking deep breaths in between each word.

"Who?" Roaslie chimmed.

Renesme shut her eyes, hard and clenched her teeth, just letting out the right amount of air to say one word, _Jacob. _

We all tensed knowing what would come for Renesmee if the rest of the wolf pack found out. We would be driven out of Forks.

"I-I can't belive I did this, " She cried.

"Oh sweetie, its okay..." Rosalie rubbed Renesme's arm. "At least that filthy mutt is out of the house."

Renesmee rounded on her, "NO! It's not okay! I-I-I can't believe I did this, I really did...love him..."

"Nessie...just curious, what is that? It smells like a blood bank, " Alice gestured to the blood soaked thing Renesmee clenched.

Renesmee gulped and slowly, tissue after tissue unwrapped the object.

What I say almost made me want to hurl, too bad vampires couldn't. The object she was holding, dare I say it, was Jacob's head.

Alice screamed and all the guys gasped, "Holy-...Nessie."

I closed my eyes hoping that once I opened them again that terrible picture would go away from my mind. Once I opened them that gruesome head with its look of horror on its face was still there.

"Well, first things first, " Carlisle began. "No one, is to know about this...I'm sure most of us have a pretty good idea how it happened and it breaks the oath, we need to leave. TOMORROW."

A murmer of agreement swept the crowd. Emmett, Edward, and Carlisle pried Jacob's head from Renesmee while she was ushered upstairs by Alice and Rosalie.

"We will be right back love," Edward said giving me a kiss on the cheek. "We need to dispose of this before it creates more trauma for us."

I nodded to him as they swiftly ran out the door.

I shook my head, burying it in between my legs. No, No, No. Why? Why Renesmee? I couldn't believe it...

* * *

_1 week later_

Hell was breaking loose and we were still not out of Forks. I had, had some complications with my dad and of course when Renesmee went out hunting she met up with some of Jacob's pack and had a mental break down, so now THEY were out the get us.

I rammed clothes and anything else I could find hastily into the suitcase. Even though we could always replace our items, I had grown fond of many of them over the years and, of course, Alice couldn't leave anything worth more than $100 behind.

"What in god's name are you doing?!" Alice screeched.

"Jeez, Alice. Take a chill pill, will ya?" I said still jamming as many things into the suitcase.

"No! No! No!" She exclamied. "Your putting those clothes into the suitcase? We only have so many!"

I threw up my hands in exasperation, "FINE! Then you pack!"

She pushed me out of the way and started flinging clothes all over the place.

I left the room, knowing full well that when Alice was obssesing over clothes the room would be even worse then a battlefield.

I skipped downstairs, looking around for Edward. He was strewn across a broken couch.

I gasped, "What happened?"

He turned his head. He looked like he had just been puched, so it hurt, mocked, and killed...again.

"There coming..." He spat throwing down a cream colored paper. "The damn idiots are coming! I should have seen this coming!"

My eyes widened, "Who honey?"

"The Voultri! They plan on recruiting Renesmee..." He yelled and, trust me, if vampires could cry he would be crying up a river in the living room.

My face froze and I swallowed hard, "Renesmee? What? Ho-How?"

He swept over embracing me in a hug, smoothing down my hair, and rubbing my back, "Don't worry love, we need to move anyways...I just hope Renesmee will be all right."

I gulped, Edward could not see me upset, it would pain him, then his reaction would pain me.


End file.
